Your Ultimate Lifeline to Ending Deadlines!

Deadlines Drawing Near? Morally Flexible? Comfortable Dancing on the Edge of Eternal Damnation? Then Old Dead Bitches Has You Covered!

We use state of the art AI to create realistic obituaries to get you out of deadlines.

Frequently asked questions

For obvious reasons our clientele are a bit dim so we get a lot of questions. Read these before you bug us.

    • Are these obituaries inclusive?

      Don't let the name fool you. Our bitches are hella diverse and we'll drop a bitch of every creed, color and gender. Whatever it takes to push that deadline.

    • Can I customize my ODB?

      Absolutely! With our premium Build a Bitch feature, you can craft the bitch of your dreams.

    • Will using ODB affect my karma?

      We're not spiritual advisers, but we like to think of it as re-balancing the scales of academic injustice...but yeah probably.

    • Do I need to confess this?

      Honestly, I wouldn't bring it up but if you're on this site then our lord and savior probably don't fuck with you anyways.

    • Why do I still want to use ODB even though it's so wrong?

      That's the nascent moral corruption taking hold. Give it time and you'll get numb to it.

    • How often can I use ODB?

      Let's just say there's a fine line between seeming like an unlucky victim of unfortunate circumstances and being a suspect. Your mileage may vary.

    • I've got a project, two essays, and a test next week. Can ODB help?

      We got a bitch for every occasion!

    • My ethics class says ODB is wrong. Thoughts?

      Sounds like some bitch ass behavior. Quit snitching.

    • I used ODB and now I feel guilty. What do I do?

      Guilt, huh? That's a new one. We'll have to get back to you.

People actually use this?!?

Our software is so simple that people can’t help but fall in love with it. Once they drop you just can't stop.

    • ODB is a godsend. Their stuff's so convincing, I thought my own granny had checked out! 😱

      Rob "Where's grandma" R.
    • My grandparents were about to have to take one for the team but ODB came through! I guess I'll have to wait on that inheritance.

      Mindy "Maybe Next Time" L.
    • ODB is a lifesaver. Managed to dodge a calculus final and still kept my 4.0 intact!

      Brad "2 + 2 = Fuck It" T.

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